Recovery can feel messy, overwhelming, and sometimes impossible. If you’ve tried to “just eat normally” or felt confused by all the advice out there, I promise you’re not alone. You’ve probably even heard your family or friends say “just eat, it’s not that hard.”

This guide isn’t to promise you a magic fix. Instead, I want to give you clear, compassionate, and practical tools for recovery – without the unrealistic rules or diet culture noise.

Also, please remember, this guide is supportive, not a replacement for professional treatment. Use it as encouragement alongside your care team.

Understanding Recovery

What recovery really means:

• Recovery is not perfection -> you are a dynamic human being physically and emotionally. Your thoughts and feelings will ebb and flow. Your nutritional needs will ebb and flow.
• Recovery does not have a timeline -> it’s common to use the phrase “ED recovery journey”. This “journey” word can give you the image of a starting line and finish line which can leave you feeling like you’re not recovering fast enough. Try swapping out this language and think of recovery like digging in the garden. You can dig in the garden, go call a friend, and come dig some more. Sometimes, you only dig up more dirt. Other times, you might find a hidden bulb, and sometimes you find pebbles or rocks.
• It’s not just eating three meals a day or reaching a certain weight (although you might have a weight restoration goal and that’s important to honor). Two things can be true about recovery and weight… recovery doesn’t magically happen because you hit a number on the scale AND a well fed brain de-escalates the fear, rigidity and focus on food tremendously.
• True recovery = freedom from food obsession, body war, and shame.

Why eating disorders aren’t “just about food”…

• EDs affect your brain chemistry, hormones, mood and decision-making.
• Restriction, binging, or purging are survival strategies – not character flaws.
• Healing your body helps heal your mind, and vice versa. A well fed brain doesn’t cure anxiety or depression AND it can deamplify those struggles.

Recovery is not linear

• There will be ups, downs and plateaus. You will stumble. When you surround yourself with a supportive team, whether it’s family/friends or a treatment team, you will have the support to stand back up after a stumble.
• Slipping back into old behaviors does not mean failure – it means your human and working to navigate hard things.

Nourishment that Heals

Food as medicine and more.

No matter our age, eating enough food for the body is so incredibly important. Adequate nutrition restores energy, concentration, and emotional balance. Alongside that, I’m not going to say that nutrient-dense food isn’t important for the body. Fiber, for example, helps support lower cholestrol by helping to clear some excess cholesterol from the body. There is science behind nutrition. AND… food is not just fuel. It’s culture. It’s comfort. It’s connection. Those roles of food in your life are just as important as the specific nutrients food is providing your body.

A gentle framework for eating…

There are quite a few ways to approach food in recovery, and there are commonalities amongst them all. The first goal is to build in enough food, often enough, with a variety of carbs, protein and fat:

1. Aim for consistent meals + snacks every 3-4 hours.
2. Think: carbs + protein + fat + color
3. Flexibility > perfection

Handling fear foods…

This can be the one that feels the most scary. Your brain is telling you that eating XXX while cause XXX. And it feels SO TRUE. Just because we’re having thoughts and feelings does not mean that it’s based in facts. Try to keep repeating that to yourself. Another helpful mantra is “opposite action” -> if you’re eating disorder voice is telling you to do one thing (avoid that food etc), try the opposite action (eat the food).

1. Write down your fear foods -> getting it out of your head and on paper is an important step.
2. Order the list from least scary to most scary. Take your least scary food and plan an exposure in a small step, with support if needed. This could look like crumbling half an oreo into your yogurt.
   • Be present while eating. Notice any spinning thoughts and write them down. Notices the taste, smells, and more.
3. Write down your food rules (“no eating after 7”, “only clean foods”)
   • Ask: where did this rule come from? Does it serve me?

Gentle reminder… there is no timeline for this, don’t feel like you need to rush thru your list. It can be more helpful to give yourself time to reintegrate each food. One exposure won’t lessen the fear. Consuming the food consistently with time will help to rewrite the connection in your brain. And, different food rules may take longer than others to break – that’s OK!

Supplements and medical nutrition

Sometimes your body needs extra help (vitamins, minerals, and/or medical formulas). These are tools – not signs of failure.

The Mindset Shifts that Actually Matter

It’s so incredibly helpful to have an eating disorder therapist on your team. Your therapist will help you challenge thought distortions and build a toolbox of coping tools you can lean into outside of eating disorder behaviors.

Build your treatment team

Your team may consist of:

• Dietitian – guidance on food + body healing
• Therapist – tools for emotions and thoughts
• Physician – medical safety & monitoring

Talking with loved ones

Boundaries are absolutely a form of self care. You can be specific with the support you find helpful and not helpful, for example:

• “I need you to sit with me at meals, and not comment on my food.”
• “I need you to not discuss your diet or weight goals around me.”

Finding community

• Peer support groups reduce shame and isolation – you can show up without having to explain yourself.
• Online spaces can help – choose recovery-focused spaces, not diet-focused.

Life Beyond the Eating Disorder

Redefine “health”

Shift focus: energy, mood, strength, joy – not weight or size.

Find joy with food again.

Cook and share meals. Explore cultural foods. Give yourself full permission to eat what sounds good.

Staying the course in recovery.

Relapse prevention = noticing triggers early. Consider making a green/yellow/red light signs of recovery vs relapse guide for yourself:

• Green light signs = strong recovery, ie eating a wide variety of foods, giving myself permission to eat more when I’m still hungry.
• Yellow light signs = slippery slope thoughts and behaviors, ie an increasing frequency of “should” and “should not eat that” thoughts
• Red light signs = your ED behaviors

Through all of this, remember that recovery isn’t about rules or willpower – it’s about the freedom you’ll find outside of your eating disorder. Your recovery won’t look like anyone else’s, and that’s okay. You can heal, and you deserve to heal.

You also don’t have to do this alone – reach out for support when you need it. XOXO